Month of Horrors: The Creepiest Moments in Video Games, Part 7

So, here we are. Halloween. And we have reached the end of both this list, and the Month of Horrors. And with that, I am now confronted with my creepiest moments in any video game. I'm a little disappointed, honestly. I'd intended to do a Let's Play of this game, since it isn't very long, but I wasn't able to record any footage of myself playing. So, instead, you'll just have to read what I have to say instead of listen, while I talk about:

1. Slender

Now, for those of you who haven't heard of Slender, or The Slender Man in general, could you tell me where you've been hiding? Because, honestly, I'd like to join you. The Slender Man is one of the creepiest things I've ever heard of, and this game does a great job of capturing the feeling of his mythos. So, if you haven't heard, The Slender Man is a... creature of some sort. He stalks people, and eventually... does something to them. And that's one of the scarier things about him. Nobody knows exactly what he is, or what he does with his victims, or really anything about him. So people can just assume whatever they think is scariest.

In Slender, you are trapped in a forest with The Slender Man. You have to find 8 pages scattered throughout the forest, on trees, construction equipment, in a bathroom (or, what's assumed to be a bathroom, there's no plumbing), etc. As you gather pages, The Slender Man begins appearing, more often and closer each time you gain a new page. If he stays near you for too long, you die. You can run from him, but only for so long. And I mean that literally, not figuratively, since you run by holding Shift, and you get tried after running for too long. Oh, and it's night, and your flashlight's batteries WILL die after a while.

So yeah, I wouldn't say that I love this game. I HATE it. But for all the right reasons. This game IS being inside The Slender Man Mythos. It is a perfect representation of what it is like to be stalked by The Slender Man. And you WILL wet yourself playing it. Don't try to hide it, it's inevitable. But I would definitely recommend downloading it at http://slendergame.com/download.php . It's completely free, and good for a nice scare.

And with that, the Month of Horrors is over. I hope you all have a nice Halloween, and remember: When you hear something go bump in the night, it might not be just the wind...

Month of Horrors: The Creepiest Moments in Video Games Part 6

So, this month is reaching its finale. As we approach the end, we also reach the end of this list. These last two were probably the easiest for me to place, admittedly for wildly different reasons. Once more, if you have any problems with them, that's fine, this is my own subjective list.

With that out of the way, here's number 2!

2. The Darkness Beyond Time (Chrono Cross)

So, for those of you unfamiliar with Chrono Cross, you might be wondering why there's no picture for this entry. Well, I tried to find one, but, sadly, I could not find a single picture of the Darkness Beyond Time that didn't contain MASSIVE spoilers for the game. If you've played it, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't played it, you should. It's a great game, and I'm sure I'll be talking about it at some point, but that's neither here nor there.

So, remember a few days ago, when I talked about 2300 A.D. in Chrono Trigger, and how it inspired the heroes of that game to prevent the disaster causing the bad future from ever happening? Remember how I said that, later, I would talk about the consequences of preventing that bad future from happening? Well, it's later, so here we go.

The Darkness Beyond Time is the fate which awaits all timelines that are prevented from occurring. It's sort of like a temporal graveyard, serving as the final resting place of all things that should've been, but aren't. Every time a time traveler prevents something from happening, the timeline where it DID happen is sent to the Darkness, where it and its inhabitants will exist for all time.

And THAT is what scares me about the Darkness Beyond Time. The idea that one could spend all eternity in this place, due to no actions of your own, and being completely incapable of doing anything about it. Someone could go back in time right now, and change the timeline in such a way as to throw us all into this kind of place.* And the idea that there's nothing I could do to prevent this kinda terrifies me.

So, just once more entry left on this list, and one more day left in the Month of Horrors. Be sure to come back tomorrow for the exciting conclusion!

*Assuming time travel exists and works this way

Month of Horrors: The Creepiest Moments in Video Games Part 5

So, here we are in the final three. This is where we get to the big stuff, the big scares. So, let's get straight into Number 3!

3. Earth Temple (Wind Waker) / Bottom of the Well (Ocarina of Time) / Arbiter's Grounds (Twilight Princess)

So, the reason I chose to put all of these dungeons is because all three are very similar to each other. They're all dealing with fighting various kinds of undead, they're all old, decrepit dungeons, they all have the same dark, claustrophobic feeling to them.

So, what makes this type of dungeon so scary? Like I said before, the claustrophobic feeling to them. The feeling that, around any corner, there could be monsters ready to strike, to kill. And, with the Arbiter's Grounds in particular, the idea that people HAVE died there. It was a prison, presumably with executions in it. And, even in the case of the other two, where do you think the undead creatures came from? Especially the worst of the lot, the biggest reason these dungeons are here: Redeads.

No matter what incarnation they are, these monsters never fail to utterly terrify me. That ear-piercing scream, followed by what can only be described as, well....

...Yeah. Not even the cartoony feel of Wind Waker's graphics make that any better. If anything, it might actually be a little worse here. 

So, zombie fun times aside, these dungeons are a lot of fun, they're great, especially for those in need of a good scare.

Well then, with that, we are down to two parts. Be sure to come back tomorrow and Wednesday to find out the top two creepiest moments in video games.

Month of Horrors: Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland

So, as I discussed a few days back, Kirby is one of the most terrifying video game characters in existence. So I figured, what better to close out the reviews this month than a Kirby game?

Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland is a 2002 remake of Kirby's first game, Kirby's Adventure. In it, you play as Kirby, who is trying to restore the Dream Rod, which has been shattered by King Dedede. He has to traverse across 7 different worlds in order to do so, beating Dedede's minions along the way.

When it comes to gameplay, I'd say this game is a little below-average, based off of my experience with later Kirby titles. In fairness, it is a remake of Adventure, but I don't feel like that means that HAL had to do a STRAIGHT adaptation of mechanics, which I get the impression is what they did. It's strange, I almost want to say that this game is both harder and easier than other Kirby titles. I felt like a died a lot more often while playing it, but it was also MUCH shorter. Like, maybe a couple hours. Honestly, I know their are extra modes, 100% completion, that kind of stuff that can lengthen gameplay, but the story itself only took me a couple hours to complete. The copy abilities are there as in any Kirby game, but they felt a little off to me. Abilities not doing things I remember them doing, doing things I don't remember, that kind of thing, and I'm sure that's just because I'm used to later games.

As you could tell from how short the synopsis was, this game does not have a lot in way of story. In fact, I didn't even realize what I was collecting until the last world. It kinda just throws you into the game and gives you the impression that you're supposed to go beat up a bunch of enemies on each level. And that's all their is to say there.

Now, I know that a lot of this can be defended by saying "Come on, it's a remake of an NES game, what do you expect?" To this, I say: Did you not see the thing I wrote on How I Review Games? I spelled out very clearly that, if you want to remake a game, that's fine, but make sure that it holds up to the standards of today. Or, 2002 in this case. And, honestly, I don't feel like it holds to those standards. Maybe Kirby's Adventure was a good game, I don't know, I never played it. But Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland? I'd give it a pass.

Month of Horrors: The Creepiest Moments in Video Games Part 4

Well, here we are at the half-way point of this week. Now, today's entry is a little complicated. It is actually TWO moments, from two very different games. However, the moments I picked from both of these games happen to be very similar in tone, so I felt it appropriate to talk about both of them on the same day.

4. 2300 A.D. (Chrono Trigger) / The Future (Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky)

Now, what freaks me out about both of these is the idea of a ruined future. The idea that there will be some kind of apocalypse, and humanity (or... Pokemonity) will be left in shambles, trying vainly to survive in the hellhole that was once their home. In Chrono Trigger, there's this scene where the characters, who just fell through a time vortex to get there, realize that this place is their planet, 1300 years in the future. The fact that their world has gone so horribly wrong terrifies them, leading them to resolve to avert the catastrophe that led to this world. Of course, this decision had terrible consequences of its own, but that is a discussion for another day...

Likewise, in Mystery Dungeon, the characters are shocked to discover that this is their future. It's especially shocking since they had thought that they had been working to avoid this horrible future, where time has ground to a halt. But then they found out that they had been manipulated by an enemy who had wanted to preserve this dark future, and they had to, like the Chrono Trigger protagonists, resolve to make their way back to their own time and avert this disaster. Which, actually leads to similar consequences as Chrono Trigger, as it turns out...

Oh my God, Explorers is a partial remake of Chrono Trigger! Screw talking about this scary stuff, I'm going to go work on their theory! See you guys tomorrow for Part 5!

Month of Horrors: The Creepiest Moments in Video Games Part 3

And here we are with part 3 of the Creepiest Moments in Video Games. Now, like the first one, this isn't a moment IN a game, but a commercial for one. However, honestly? This commercial encapsulates the feel of the game really well, and I feel it is creepy enough to put here in its own right.

5. The Commercials for The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Now, probably the biggest scare factor in these, at least for me, is the realistic nature of them. This is something that I'll be going into some more later, but the fact that they take the idea of Majora's Mask, and then make it real does a great job of creeping me out. It's suddenly not just that if you don't stop the moon, the fictional land of Termina will be destroyed. Now, if you don't stop the moon, the real world will be destroyed. Real people will die, and there's only one child able to stop it from happening. And I realize that it's ridiculous to believe that this is real, but then again, isn't that true of any story? Isn't just a show of how good a job the marketers did with these commercials that I am honestly a little frightened by them?

Yes. Yes, it is. These commercials are awesome. Good job, whoever thought of them. You really made me, and I'm sure many others, want to play Majora's Mask. And also maybe gave some of us nightmares.

Month of Horrors: The Creepiest Moments in Video Games Part 2

So, today continues my countdown of the seven creepiest moments in video games. Now, this title is kind of a misnomer. As seen yesterday, they're not always IN video games, and as you'll see today, they're not always moments. In fact, today I'm going to be talking about one of the longer-running characters in video gaming history, who just celebrated his 20th birthday this year. So, let's get going with...

6. Kirby

Now, I realize that this is hardly an original argument; hell, there have been songs written about the horror that is Kirby. But that hardly matters, so let's assume for a few minutes that you haven't heard these arguments in the past before. 

Since you've never thought about it before, you're probably thinking, "But Flit, Kirby isn't scary! Look at him, he's adorable!" But I say in response, have you ever PLAYED a Kirby game? The little puffball is terrifying.

Let's look at this from the perspective of Kirby's enemies; or, half the time, random bystanders. They're minding their own business, when all of a sudden, this pink blob shows up and eats them alive. If they're lucky, he spits them back out as a projectile. If they're not? He swallows them, absorbing their essence. That is TERRIFYING. Even if they're trying to hinder his progress, that does not justify what Kirby does. Especially since he isn't even always in the right.

Let's talk about Kirby: Squeak Squad, which was in fact my first Kirby game. The game starts out with Kirby eating some cake, when suddenly, the cake is stolen. Kirby immediately goes to fight King Dedede over it, despite have NO EVIDENCE that Dedede has done anything wrong. And, in fact, Dedede hadn't done anything, but does that stop Kirby? NO. He just decides, "Oh, something bad happened to me. Better go beat up Dedede! ^_^" 

So, yeah, Kirby: Black hole for a stomach, and no discretion as to what ends up in it. Seems perfectly fitting for the sixth creepiest thing in video games.

Month of Horrors: The Creepiest Moments in Video Games Part 1

So, the Month of Horrors continues. Playing and reviewing these scary* games has gotten me thinking about scary moments across all of gaming. Those moments where, even in a game that seems harmless enough, the game begins to frighten you. Maybe it's a sudden shock. Or maybe a grotesque monster. Or maybe just the disturbing implications of what's happening. No matter what, these moments are always good for a nice scare. And so, I've decided to talk about the 7 Creepiest Moments in Video Games. I'll be doing this over the next week, one every day until Halloween itself.

Now then, these are just my personal opinions. They are what I think are scary. It's completely subjective, if you don't like it, then that's perfectly fine.

So, without any further ado, here's the seventh creepiest moment in a video game.

7. This Commercial for Pokemon: Red and Blue Versions

I 

Now, as I've said before, I am a huge fan of Pokemon. However, I didn't really get into the games until Crystal came out. In fact, I don't remember ever having seen this commercial when I was little, and I watched the show religiously. It wasn't until a few years ago that I came across this commercial online. 

At first, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Did they actually think this was a good idea for marketing this game to children. I mean, yes, it does give the idea that the game has all sort of creatures packed in to such a small system, but the idea of putting them on a bus and then crushing the bus with the Pokemon still in it is a ridiculously terrifying image in my mind. Are we supposed to relate to the bus driver, wanting to get all of the Pokemon in his game? Because the only thing I feel towards him is fear.

So yeah, creepy bus driver + animal murder = horrible nightmares, for those of you interested in marketing.

Be sure to come back tomorrow, where I discuss another creepy moment in video gaming.

*Shut up

Month of Horrors: Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness Episodes 1 + 2

So, the Month of Horrors continues tonight. Like my last review, this game may not exactly constitute 'horror.' In fact, given its origins and content, it's fairly clearly comedy. However, given the dealings with Old Ones present in this series, I do feel comfortable talking about this game in this month. Also, there are mimes. Mimes are scary, right?

So, odds are, if you're reading this, you've both been to the internet and enjoy games. If this is true, then you have likely seen Penny Arcade at some point in your life. But, if by some anti-miracle you haven't yet, allow me to explain. Penny Arcade is a ridiculously successful webcomic. It was started in 1998, and its creators, Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik, have made roughly fifteen quintillion dollars from it. It has spawned two conventions, a charity, an upcoming film based off of a one-shot comic, and three games, the first two of which I will be talking about today.

Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness: Episode 1 and Episode 2*, were created by Hothead Games in 2008. Rather than taking place in the comic's universe, the game takes the characters from the comics, and places them in an original universe. You play as a character which you create. One day, while minding your own business**... your house is destroyed by a giant robot. Really an establishing moment for the game. Anyway, your character chases after two people that are chasing after the robot, and finds them to be detectives named Gabe and Tycho, who are investigating the robot. You decide to go with them in order to get revenge on the monstrosity, and so begins your adventures. However this goes far beyond what you expect. Dark silent forces are working in the shadows, attempting to summon their great Gods...

Gameplay wise, these games are... kind of reminiscent of Final Fantasy. Every battle begins with a roll for initiative. Whoever rolls the best will go first. As you wait for each of your characters' turns, they have three separate bars that fill up, each one starting after the last is full. The first to fill is items, which range from healing, changing stats, or damaging opponents. The next is your normal attack, which doesn't need any explanation. Finally, your special attack becomes charged. This is an attack that requires you to enter a particular button combination in order to deal massive damage to an opponent. If you do full damage and kill an enemy with it, you will gain an Overkill point. After collecting enough Overkill points, you gain a new special attack, which will do more damage, but requires a more difficult button combination. You also get up to 3 summons, which charge much more slowly, but also do a lot of damage. Overall, these games are not particularly hard to play, and are fairly enjoyable.

Graphically, this game is alright, nothing special, but not bad. Musically... I honestly don't remember the music. However, that's not what I want to talk about. I'd much rather talk about the writing.

This game was very obviously written by the lovely gentlemen responsible for Penny Arcade. The humor is very similar to the comic, for better or for worse. And yet... this game doesn't quite have the feel of Penny Arcade. The humorous parts are there, yes, but there's also a much darker setting here than in the comics. You are put into this world where Great Old Ones are being summoned, and it's up to you to stop them. Without spoiling much, both of these episodes conclude with a boss fight against an Elder God, and it's fairly fun to fight.

So, what do I think of these games, all in all? Well, as a fan of Penny Arcade, I feel that these are great games. There are some elements in episode two that were obviously supposed to be set-ups for episode three, as there were similar things in episode one that gave you rewards when the story was continued in episode two, but sadly, Hothead Games did not develop episode three, which only came out this summer, and so these elements were left unused. However, these two games are both fun, and would recommend them, especially if you enjoy the comic. Both are available on Steam, XBLA, and PSN.

So, now that I've finally gotten the Day of Three Reviews*** finished, be sure to come back next Sunday for my next review.

*Wow, that's a long title

**Why does nothing good come after that phrase anyway?

***Shut up.

Month of Horrors: Plants vs. Zombies

So, here begins part two of today's three reviews. Once more, we discuss another game involving zombies. However, this time, the game is a bit less... dramatic.

Popcap's Plants Vs. Zombies was released on May 5th, 2009 for PCs and Macs and has been ported many, many times since. In it, you play as a person whose home is being attacked by zombies. Instead of using a gun or some other reasonable weapon, though, you choose to use various species of plants to combat the zombie horde. You have Peashooters, which, well, shoot peas at the zombies, Wallnuts, which block the zombies from advancing, Sunflowers, which provide sunlight to let you grow other plants, and many which you gain over the course of the game.

So, this plays like most other tower defense games. There are zombies on your lawn, and you don't want zombies on your lawn. So, you set up your plants in each of 5 rows of your lawn, and use them to keep the zombies from reaching your house. If ever the zombies get through your defenses, there is a lawnmower at the end of each row that will kill all of the zombies in that row once a zombie reaches it, but that only works once. If another zombie gets to the end of that row, you lose.

Graphically, musically, this game is okay. It isn't anything spectacular, but it isn't anything terrible either. It's cute*, but nothing in the game sticks out as particularly memorable.

Now, let me preface everything I'm about to say with this: I enjoy this game. It's a fun, lighthearted zombie tower defense game. I don't have any problems with its 'cutesy' graphics, the music isn't bad, the gameplay isn't too easy or too hard, I genuinely like this game.

However, I don't recommend buying it.

See, this is kind of what I don't get about Popcap in general. They put out games, free to play, online, and then offer, for want of a better term, better versions of the games to download for a fee. And, honestly, I just can't wrap my brain around how this works. Obviously it does work, Popcap has been fairly successful, but I just don't get it. Because I see two outcomes of using this system: Either a) the online version is enjoyable, in which case, why get the full version**; or b) the online version is not enjoyable, in which case, why would you want the full version? Now, obviously there's some third option I just don't understand, but for the life of me I can't figure out what it is.

So, ultimately, I recommend playing this game on Popcap's website, it is fun, but I wouldn't go out of my way to buy it if I were you.

Sorry this review is so short, this one was kind of spur-of-the-moment. But, be sure to stop by later today for the (not-so-)epic finale to this three-review day!

*You know, cutesy for zombies.
**I say this having bought the full version. Shut up, it was on sale.

Note: Yes, I am indeed counting this for Month of Horrors, even if it isn't scary. There are zombies in it, therefore it counts.

Month of Horrors: The Walking Dead Episode 1

Before getting started, I'd like to apologize for not having posted anything last week. Complete oversight on my part, but I'm going to make it up today with not one, not even two, but three reviews. So, let's get this started with Episode 1 of The Walking Dead.

The Walking Dead originated as a monthly comic book series written by Robert Kirkman and drawn by Tony Moore, though Moore was replaced by Charlie Adlard after issue 6. However, it's likely that more people will be familiar with the AMC series based off of the comic, created by Frank Darabont. The comics and show focus on Rick Grimes, a Kentucky (Georgia in the show) sherrif's deputy. One day, he is shot in the line of duty, and ends up in a coma for a month. When he wakes, he finds the hospital abandoned, the only people remaining not quite people. These creatures appear human, but devour the flesh of the living, and cannot die unless their heads are destroyed. There's a word for these, but since they don't use it in-universe, I won't use it here. Rick eventually finds his family, and they, along with others, begin making their way across the land, attempting to find some sort of safety and survival.

Now, this is the premise of the show and comic. However, the game has little to do with this. In fact, it seems to be set during the month in which Rick is comatose. Instead, this game focuses on Lee Everett a professor at the University of Georgia. He begins the Apocalypse being taken out of Atlanta in a police car, having just been convicted of the murder of a state senator who had been sleeping with his wife, though Lee claims it was self-defense. Lee is talking to the officer driving the car when they hit a person, careening off the road. Lee blacks out, and when he wakes up, the car is wrecked, the cop is dead, and he must get out of his handcuffs and escape. But once he gets uncuffed, the cop... begins making his way towards Lee. Lee must kill the cop, and begin his attempt to figure out just what is going on anymore.

This is an adventure game, focusing on Lee as he attempts to survive the horde of... walkers, as the show calls them. Lee must find items, and use them to solve puzzles. He also has to interact with numerous other survivors. This actually includes cast members from the show/comic, such as Hershel Graham and Glenn, before they meet Rick. Although, I won't lie, my favorite character is probably Clementine. It's cheap, but adding a child to protect is a good way to get someone invested in a game. It makes me worried that they're going to build up the relationship between Lee and Clementine, only to have something horrible happen to her down the road. Not going to lie, I'll be REALLY angry if that happens.

Graphically, I like this game. From what I've seen, it's similar to what Telltale did with Back to the Future and Jurassic Park, but this one feels more... comic-booky. It's sort of hard to describe, but it feels like these characters actually came out of a comic book. It's really fitting for this game, and I have enjoyed it.

Musically... I have nothing to say. I honestly cannot remember if there even WAS any music, much less what it sounded like. I feel, though, that this works for this game. It gives this feeling of isolation, which really works in a game where you're struggling for survival. I'll take this time, instead, to talk about the voice acting. I really enjoy it. I wish they'd gotten the actors for Glenn and Hershel from the show to voice their characters, but I understand that they probably busy, or Telltale couldn't afford it, or something. Overall, though, I thought the VAs did a good job. I felt comfortable with the characters, and genuinely wanted to help them survive. Except for the assholes, who are still fairly well-written. And then one of the assholes may have been set up as a romantic interest. That was kinda weird...

But yeah, overall, Episode 1: A New Day was enjoyable, and I'll definitely play the rest of them. In fact, Telltale recently announced that they are going to be making a second season of the game, and if the rest of this season is like this episode, I'll certainly plan on getting it. 

So, here ends the first review of the day. Be sure to come back later for the next two parts.

Pokemon: Black and Blue (A PETA 'parody')

So, yesterday, PETA released a 'parody' of Pokemon called 'Pokemon: Black and Blue.' This is not the first time they've done this, they've done it with Mario, Cooking Mama, and Super Meat Boy in the past. However, as I've mentioned before on here, Pokemon holds a special place in my heart. To see them do this to my favorite franchise really hurts me. So, I've decided to give my thoughts on the... game. Now then, this is not going to be a normal review from me. Besides the fact that this is way too short for something like that, I also feel the need to break down the arguments which PETA makes and demonstrate why they're wrong. So, let's get started.

DISCLAIMER: My memory of Pokemon canon vs. fanon is a little hazy. There may be times that I use arguments that are never established in the games or anime canon, yet I recall to be generally accepted. Or at some point I saw and decided were really good ideas. Either/or.

I guess I should start with my first impression. When I first heard about this game, I thought to myself, "You know, it's kind of funny that they're doing this. I mean, just two years ago, Black and White came out, and I remember people comparing Team Plasma to PETA, given that they both claim to be working for the rights of Pokemon/animals. But, I'm sure that PETA isn't aware of that, since Black and White reveal at the end that Team Plasma was being manipulated all along by Ghetsis, who really just wanted to take over the world!"

Oh, by the way, there will be spoilers for Pokemon: Black and White here. Just a heads up.

But then I actually open up the game, and this is the first thing I see:

Yep, yeah, this is it. The first image I use on this thing, and it's of this. Yeah, I feel horrible. 

Putting aside Prof. Juniper for a moment, let's look at that sign. 'I support Team Plasma.' Huh.

Well, I guess PETA just admitted that they agree with the villains. You heard it here, PETA sides with evil!*

So, anyway, the games starts with a screen of text. Basically, it's kinda what you'd expect from PETA's interpretation of Pokemon: Children learning to abuse animals, people think that Pokemon are only meant to be used and abused, children begin bullying each other- Wait, what?

"While Pokemon faced the worst abuses, children also started bullying each other..."

Okay, tangent time. Listen here, PETA. Bullying has always been a thing. The human need to dominate one another has always been a thing. Supposed abuse of Pokemon has nothing to do with it. Don't get me wrong, bullying is a horrible, horrible thing, but IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH POKEMON.

But let's put that aside, and get into the game itself. The game begins with Pikachu (Yes, Ash's Pikachu) deciding to liberate himself. You're instantly launched into a battle against... a horrible caricature of Cheren. Who never appears in the show. PETA, you've really got to get your continuities straight.

Now, in a normal review, I'd talk about the battle mechanics. But here, there's nothing really to say. They're fine. They SHOULD be fine, since Game Freak has been refining them for years. Pikachu has four moves, Quick Attack, Thundershock... Group Hug, and... Protest. Wow. Anyway, Group Hug and Protest are stat-dropping moves, so I didn't use much of them. Cheren, on the other hand, uses attacks like 'Tail-docking.' With a pair of shears. Wow again.

Anyway, you beat Cheren, and he goes on about how Pokemon are bred to fight, and Pikachu says that 'even you know what a weak argument that is!' which brings me to my first counter-argument: Pokemon kinda ARE bred to fight. Again, what I am about to say might not be canon, but, according to my memory, Pokemon and humans have a sort of mutually beneficial relationship. Pokemon travel with humans in order to protect them from wild Pokemon, and, in exchange, humans help Pokemon to get stronger. Why do you think that you're never allowed into the tall grass until you have your first Pokemon. I'll tell you why: wild Pokemon will RIP YOU APART. They are magnitudes stronger than any human, and as willing to harm others in self-preservation as any wild animal. So, you need Pokemon with you in order to protect yourself. Now, why do the Pokemon agree to protect you? So they can get stronger. Pokemon, at least most, have an inherit desire to become stronger; to become the strongest. And they realize that, with the right human calling the shots, they can battle much better. Not necessarily because the human is smarter, though that will likely sometimes be the case, but also because it's one less thing for the Pokemon to think about in the heat of battle. That's why trainer-owned Pokemon are always worth more EXP. They're simply more challenging opponents because of the trainer aiding them.

So, anyway, Cheren talks about how HIS Pokemon wouldn't want to leave, and Pikachu tells him to give his Tepig the choice as to whether or not she wants to travel with him. And since PETA made this game, Tepig of course decides that her trainer is evil and want to go join the Pokemon Liberation Front with Pikachu.**

Afterwards, you meet Nurse Joy, she goes on about the 'evils of exploitation,' and gives you a video which, knowing PETA, I refused to watch. Pikachu and Tepig decide to go the the Global Terminal and spread the video across all of Unova in order to increase awareness of... whatever it was in that video. 

Also, I haven't mentioned it before, but Pokemon can talk in this. Yeah.

Anyway, I'm going to skip over the battle with Prof. Juniper, since all it does is give you a Snivy, and move straight on to Ghetsis. So, yeah, after I saw that Team Plasma sign earlier, I just assumed that nobody at PETA had actually played the game, and they were just going off of what they had heard. NOPE. Ghetsis actually acknowledges that he was manipulating Team Plasma, doesn't actually believe any of that, and now... skins and butchers Pokemon that are... too old to battle, I guess? And I think he does it while they're still alive too, which is sick.***

After that, you get an Oshawott that Ghetsis apparently skinned alive, and move on to the final boss... ASH KETCHUM.

I feel kinda dirty posting that.

Okay, I'm not sure PETA has ever seen an episode of Pokemon. They think Pokemon can talk, they think dresses like THAT... this is just wrong. Heck, they say that Ash keeps Pikachu in a Pokeball. He tried that once. Pikachu didn't take it too well.

Honestly, that last sentence really reflects my view on this game as a whole. Its argument lies in the fact that people are abusing Pokemon. You remember that thing I said earlier, though? The part where I talked about how Pokemon can easily kill humans? Yeah, that's why you never hear about Pokemon abusers. If anyone really tried to abuse their Pokemon, THEY WOULD GET KILLED. This isn't like a cat, where you can declaw them or something. Heck, I'm not sure humans would even HAVE any means of self-defense. I mean, the show has guns in it once or twice, but the games never mention them.

Also, the game says that Ash has never cared about Pikachu. As a response, I simply say that you should go watch the episode "Pikachu's Goodbye."

Done crying? Good. After the battle, Ash is convinced that he's been wrong, and decides to form an organization to spread the word: "Pokemon Treated Ethically, Awesome!"

Wow. Just, just wow. No, you know what? I'm done here. This rant is over. Bye.

See you later.

*Note: I am in no way saying that PETA is evil. I'm sure they're doing what they THINK is right.

**This is actually suspiciously similar to a scene in Pokemon Special, though I'll let it slide, since I doubt that anyone at PETA actually reads it.

***For those interested, I try not to think about what exactly they DO eat in Pokemon. I mean, early on the show showed non-Pokemon animals, so maybe they eat those and just don't show them? I don't know.

All images shown were made by PETA. All characters portrayed were originally created by Game Freak.

Month of Horrors: Left 4 Dead 2

So, we have entered October. And as we approach Halloween, I thought to myself, "Y'know, this is the PERFECT time to talk about scary games!"* So, with this post, I'm proud to present the Month of Horrors!** For the rest of this month, every Sunday, I'll post a review of a different horror/monster video game. In addition, I also have plans on other posts, various horror-type topics related to video games. So, to start this off, here's my review of Left 4 Dead 2!

Left 4 Dead 2 is a First-Person Shooter released by Valve in 2009 for PC and Xbox. You play as one of four survivors of the zombie apocalypse, trying to survive and find a permanent home. As you progress through each campaign, you periodically reach safe-houses, which are basically checkpoints. Safe-houses are typically full of first-aid kits, weapons, ammo, pretty much everything you'd need to make running through a zombie apocalypse enjoyable! However, between safe-houses, items are rather scarce, especially if you're doing well, though I'll get into more detail about that later. Also between safe-houses are, of course, the zombie hordes.

There are several varieties of zombies, or Infected, as the game calls them. You have basic Infected, which go down pretty quickly, but then there are the Special Infected. These are much stronger, and also all have special abilities, which are hinted at in their names. Spitters vomit acid at you, Hunters pounce you from a far distance, Jockeys... actually, I don't want to go into what Jockeys do. And then there are the Tanks and Witches. Tanks are massive, hideous creatures with arms the size of tree trunks. They take a LOT of damage to kill, and, if you're not careful, will do a LOT of damage to you. You usually only see one Tank on each portion of the level, and you tend to be thankful for that. Witches are much smaller, and potentially more harmless. As long as you don't startle her, she won't attack you. However, if you DO startle her, by doing something like shoot her, get too close to her, shine your flashlight near her (even if it's daytime, which makes me just think she hates flashlights), run. It won't help, but run. She will find you, and she WILL kill you in one hit unless the other three survivors can kill her first. So, best to avoid them as much as possible.

So, talking about the gameplay. This game is well-made, I think. I'll admit, I don't have the most experience with FPSes. Or any, really. However, the game does what it's supposed to. I point at things, I click, things die. And I suppose now's a good time to talk about the Director.

The Director is a term for the AI in this game. The AI in this game is very adaptive. If you do well, the game gets harder, sending more zomb- Infected after you, and giving you fewer first-aid kits and ammo. Conversely, if you do poorly, the game takes pity on you, giving you more first-aid kits, fewer Infected, and better weapons. It's actually a good way to judge how well you're doing. Basically, if the game gives you a Grenade Launcher, you're not doing so well.***

This game does not have a lot in terms of story. It's basically just "You're at point A, get to point B, GO." There is some backstory about how the zo- Infected were created, but it's not really important. The characters are a lot of fun, though. You have Ellis, the... okay, he's bit of a redneck. But he's also probably my favorite character. He goes off on all of these stories about he and his buddy Keith, and the zany misadventures they went on. There's also Coach, a former... football coach, who kinda serves as the father of the group. Similarly, Rochelle, a former reporter, is basically the team mom, especially towards Ellis. And then there's Nick, a con man. ...Yeah, that's all I really have to say about him. Not that I don't like him, I just don't have anything to say about him.

This game has some good music, especially from the Midnight Riders. Let me explain that last part: This game created a fictional band, created music from this band that plays in the game, and then turned actually turned one of their concert venues into the stage for the finale of a campaign. And, on top of all of that, the music from that band is actually pretty good. I enjoyed it, at least. And the rest of the game's music isn't half-bad either. It does a really good job of building up the atmosphere, creeping you out at just the right times. Each of the Special Infected, as well as the Tank and Witch, have their own little themes where they're somewhere nearby. Instead of giving you fair warning, though, all this does is freak you out more, because you realize that they're nearby, but you just. Can't. See them yet. And then they kill you.

I mean, not always, but they WILL kill you. You can hold it off for as long as you want, but it doesn't matter. You will die at the hands of the horde someday.

...I'm sorry, I got a little... off-topic there. Anyway, this game is great, you should get it, and be sure to come by next Sunday for my next review, and keep your eyes peeled for other posts at no set interval this month.

See you!

*For a certain definition of scary.

**INCREDIBLY tentative title. I'd be happy to take suggestions for new ones.

***Yes, I have received a Grenade Launcher. Multiple times. I felt bad about it at first, but then I went, "Wait, I have a Grenade Launcher." And then I stopped feeling bad.

Oh, and I WILL review Superstar Saga eventually. I swear. Just, not this month.